


Ronward the creepy crack

by ihartdiamonds



Series: Crack fics [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Vampires Suck (2010)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Out of Character, lotsa crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-05 16:47:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4187373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihartdiamonds/pseuds/ihartdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was another boy in my room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ronward the creepy crack

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Also, this is the weirdest thing I have ever written. I was inspired by a ship it or rip it video I watched on YouTube.

Something made me jerk awake in the middle of the night. I don't quite know what it was. Maybe it was some instinct of mine, since I did grow up with Fred and George as my brothers.  
Another instinct was to pull the sheets up under my chin, in case they tried to drop a spider or a stink bomb down my front.  
It was dark, but not too dark. My eyes adjusted quickly.  
There was another boy in my room.  
"Bloody hell!" I shrieked, shrinking away from him.  
"Shhhh!" He hissed, putting a finger to his lips. "It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you."  
I wasn't sure what to make of that. Or him, actually.  
He was perched on my windowsill, which looked cramped for him since he was so tall and broad shouldered. He was pale, practically glowing in the moonlight.  
He looked... Familiar.  
Wait, I knew him! He was new at Hogwarts. Not a first year, a sixth year, like me. Hufflepuff house.  
"Edward?" I asked.  
He nodded, grinning creepily.  
"What do you want?" I demanded. From what I'd seen of Edward at school, he just seemed like a normal boy. For a Hufflepuff. But that didn't explain why he was in my room, at my house, in the middle of the night on Christmas eve.  
"Nothing," he replied, still grinning. "It's just, I like watching people sleep. No, not people, just you. I like watching you sleep. It's fascinating."  
"Bloody hell," I spat again. "How long have you been there?"  
"Just tonight?" He tilted his head in thought. "Four hours or so."  
"What do you mean, just tonight?"  
"Before then, maybe a whole week, six hours a night."  
"Bloody hell." I couldn't seem to stop saying it. My skin was crawling. "Why didn't I notice you before?"  
He re-adjusted his position, resting his feet flat on the floor. "I kept quiet. And ran away before you saw me. Tonight, though, I wanted to talk to you."  
Bloody, bloody, bloody hell. This guy was a creep.  
"How did you find out where I live?"  
"I checked the school records."  
This was ridiculous.  
"Why me? Why not Harry? Heck, why not Ernie or something?"  
Edward moved again, this time detaching himself from the windowsill and stepping closer to me. I shrank back, pressing my shoulder against the wall.  
His voice dropped to a seductive whisper.  
"I don't like Harry, or Ernie. I've tried watching them before, and they were boring. But you, you I kept finding myself drawn to. I kept coming back for more. You interest me. Fascinate me."  
Was this a joke? It had to be a joke. No one could possibly be this creepy. This weird.  
"I like you, Ronald. I like the way you hold yourself. You radiate confidence. You don't care what anyone else thinks."  
I fumbled for my wand. It had to be somewhere. Surely I had stowed it under the mattress last night, right?  
Edward came closer. I could only get so far away from him before it became hard to search for my wand.  
"Even in sleep, you have those qualities. I want to know more about you-"  
I found my wand, fingers closing around the familiar grip. I pulled it out and pointed it at Edward, thinking the first spell that came to mind.  
Levicorpus!  
Edward was jerked up by the ankle, until he hung upside down from the ceiling. He cried out in protest, but I cut him off with a "Silenco!"  
Hermione would be proud, I thought numbly.  
"You really need to get a life," I said to the silent Edward as I levitated him out of my window.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
